How does your garden grow?

So, this is edition two of my gardening memoirs. If you'll remember, last year I was such a novice. First, I planted my garden in June (much too late). Plus, I hardly put any effort on the front end in terms of getting my seedlings started, preparing the soil, etc. I just thought I could throw some seeds out the window and reap a bountiful harvest a few days later. Despite my lackluster effort, I actually got some decent results (plenty of cucumbers and some tomatoes, plus a handful of blueberries and red raspberries). So, I figured that gardening must be in my genes. My great grandmother had a farm, and I remember helping her when I was little. We would harvest red raspberries, string beans, squash, cantaloupe, etc.

With one year of gardening under my belt, and all the wisdom gained, I had some pretty big plans for my garden this year. First of all, none of this starting in June. Oh, no! Any seasoned farmer will tell you that a respectable garden must be started in March . . . so, I decided to start my garden in February (even better!).

I was so pumped up that I went out and bought this kit that provided everything needed to raise tiny tomato, pepper, and cantaloupe plants from seeds.

With just a little water, the little sod pods in the kit magically transformed from something akin to dried out brownie bites into moist, fertile test tubes for plants. Compared to my reckless gardening antics from last year, I felt that I was off to a good start.

Next, I used such care planting each seed the optimal depth for growth per the instructions on the seed packets.

Then, I covered my little hotbed of seedling growth and placed it in a warm, dark place. I was ready for the magic to happen.

And sure enough, in just a couple of weeks, the first seedlings started to pop through the surface. With all of my preparation and care, I was certain that Natalie and I would be feasting on tomatoes, peppers, and cantaloupe in no time at all. Surely with all my extra effort this year, my garden would produce three fold, nay, four fold! In fact, I envisioned us lugging buckets full of fresh produce with us to family and friends because "We just can't eat all that our garden has produced!" I was even contemplating running a veggie stand out of our garage to get rid of the inevitable excess produce. Yes, there we would be, conquerors of the earth and prepared to share our bounty.

But, it was still too cold outside for my precious seedlings, so they waited in the kitchen, under my watchful eye and care. And once the threat of frost was gone, I transplanted the seedlings outside to my garden plot.

And six months later . . . this is the condition of my garden! Isn't this the most pitiful garden you have ever seen?! To date, we have not seen even one tomato, zucchini, or cantaloupe rise from the ashes of this miserable excuse for a garden. Apparently, sunlight is useful when trying to grow plants, and this particular spot gets basically no direct sunlight. Hence, no vegetable growth! I'm still trying to figure out how it managed to produce anything last year.

But don't worry, in the end, all was not lost. I decided (well, Natalie decided) that I should relocate my "garden" to the back porch, which at least gets an hour of direct sun each day. And, if not the bountiful harvest that I had dreamed about so many times in February, we at least got about 15 tomatoes, a couple of peppers, and plenty of basil.

So, to answer my own question . . . apparently, my garden doesn't grow. Or, at least it didn't this year. Don't worry, I've decided to re-double my efforts next Spring. This time focusing on the back porch. And who knows . . . maybe I will just get that bountiful harvest I was dreaming about and set up my veggie stand in the garage.